I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize