we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
