is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
