Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize