I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
