so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
