just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
