I accidentally burped into my bong.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I need a burrito and a hug.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
