He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
