Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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