wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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