Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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