i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
