I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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