Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
