there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The air was thick with penises
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
