A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
worst night to have a conscience
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
