Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
