For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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