So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
