You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize