Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
