Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
