Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
