I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
