Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize