Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
