My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
