Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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