I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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