I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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