dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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