Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
