Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
