hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
