I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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