ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
