So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
