Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
