yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
