ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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