So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize