someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
