Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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