Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
