omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
