Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
