Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
