...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
