They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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