You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
