There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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