I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
