I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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