Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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