The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
