4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
