So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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