Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
