he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
