Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
