thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just want to make out with him forever
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
