sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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