sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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