dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
