Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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