If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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