I cockslap morals
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Come back. Shots need mouths.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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