i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It was confusing and full of hummus
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
